Are we supposed to like blobs of gel now?

You and me, dear reader, we are the last of a dying breed. Sounds cliché, but we are. We are dying. That is a fact. We started dying as soon as we came out of our mothers. But that's neither here nor there. There is a bigger problem starting to show, I think. We are no longer the target audience of the car manufacturers we adore. They don't see us anymore and even worse: wont build for us anymore.

That is the second thing that hit my head after I shot up and hit my head on the lamp hanging above the table, because I couldn't realize that Audi did us so much wrong with the Cyber R8, or as they like to call it: the Audi Nuvolari.

Yes, this soulless lump of grey metal and plastic tries to speak to us lovers of shapes on four wheels by telling us that it is very powerful and very fast. And that is all fine and dandy. But just look at it. This weird mix between a Temerario, Cybertruck and R8, doesn't make the nether regions tingle at all. It's like Audi forgot for most of the car enthousiasts it's never been solely about the numbers, and it was alway more about the whole package. It's equally important how the car makes us feel when we look at it.

Now I know this new Cyber R8 isn't for everyone. It's not being build for the masses. Audi will only make 499, probably because finding 500 looneys crazy enough to part ways with over half a million euro's for this slab on wheels would be impossible, but this way the brand can tell the 499 buyers they are "very special".

But the thing is that these kind of halo cars are supposed to carry the brand for years to come. If I can't get the Nuvolari, I'll get the A3, because it's from the same manufacturer and therefore it's almost as cool. It has the same steering wheel! I don't know what the Nuvolari is trying to carry or what it's trying to tell us about the future of Audi. What I do know is that it's not speaking the same language as we are.

The new Audi is another shining example of car companies are either lost, or have found a new target audience that they like to speak to. Maybe it's people that use words like 'sigma' or 'skibidi' and 'rizz' like they're normal. One thing is for sure, they aren't talking to the car enthousiasts that used to buy their cars. The people that bought the original R8 probably won't be lining up for this new one. Or for the Luce or for the AMG 4-Door Coupé EV for that matter.

You could argue these cars are just there as a cash grab from wealthy tech bro's who don't know what to do with all their crypto assets. And that would be fair and probably partially correct. But I'd argue, as I did a couple of sentences ago, these halo cars have to do more than just bring in a quick buck. They are marketing machines for the plebeians that buy the regular shit. But all they're doing is widening the gap between what we the poor people want, and what they are giving them.

We all seem to have to content with increasingly dull electric sheds that are getting harder and harder to tell apart from each other. Did you see the new Lancia? No? I think you did, but you probably thought it was some kind of Chinese EV. And how about the Fiat that was released a couple of days ago? At a glance looks roughly the same as the Ford Puma.

Thankfully Audi gave a hint to why this all is happing in the reveal of the Cyber R8. It proudly stated the car was named after the Italian racing car driver Tazio Nuvolari because the man was fearless and hyper focused. He also was quick. And that last part is what Audi was very proud of.

The Nuvolari was developed in just 14 months. To my ears that's like saying "it's not a bug, it's a feature". I think you should take the time to develop the car that is to carry the brand for years. Not just rush the damned thing and tell everybody that's how it's done.

But that is our future. Rushing the development of cars, because the Chinese seem to dictate that speed now too. And it's being seen as something we have to compete with. Which I don't agree with. I still think putting in the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears into something that represents it, will always outsell the fast and furiously build shit to appeal to the ever changing appetite of TikTok-lovers around the world. I mean, did you see they're into weird colored blobs of gel now?

In other news:

Did you know the combustion engine in your car is horrible at burning fuel and turning it into usable energy? You did? Cool. Did you also know the Chinese keep finding way's to improve on that? You didn't? Also cool. Dongfeng, know for their Box (it's a real car name and communicates quite well what the car is) has improved the efficiency of combustion engines to 45,5 percent. Amazing! Makes you think why didn't we come up with of all this sooner?

Buc-ee's is the world's greatest gas station in the world! Yes, I wrote that correctly. But it's even gotten greater! It has the longest car wash in the world. You can get your car cleaned while having a shit on the world's cleanest gas station toilets. I can attest to that, I've been there multiple times. And I can also confirm they have a pretty, pretty, pretty good brisket sandwich.

Clothing brand Filson and Ford have collided, I mean worked together to create the Filson Bronco. A special edition of the SUV clad in a beautiful green hue and a great interior full of heritage materials. It could've used a 'heritage' V8-enige, excuse me, V8-modor, because a V6 EcoBoost doesn't sound like Filson's slogan 'Might as well have the best", or like "Unfailing Goods". But still, looks good.